…me sitting on my butt in a feed tub with a string of green lights around my neck.
Has everyone see the cool Extreme Shepherding video? If not, here ya go.
The Welsh shepherds had a general, an electrician, LED master, LOTs of good dogs, skads of sheep and, apparently, cases of batteries. Maybe a bartender too.
They call themselves the BAA-STUDS. I think the BAA-STUDS should have included a “don’t try this at home” disclaimer. But they didn’t. So of course I did. Try it at home.
I wasn’t expecting anything near as spectacular as what they did. I only had one dog (Mark), four sheep, three packs of batteries, and a santa suit. No bar or bartender. Not even a drop of eggnog was used in the filming. Just hoping for a funny picture or two.
Things were off to a Baaaa-d start when I tried to install batteries in the LED light strings. I didn’t have a tiny screwdriver so I used the tip of a tiny pair of scissors. Really sharp scissors.
I put on a band aid and went to the barn to figure out how to attach lights to sheep. Mytle was wearing a coat already so I tacked the lights on with needle and thread. I can’t sew but thought it would hold up for a short photo shoot. I wrapped elastic bandage around Diane’s neck, up between her front legs and around her body and wove lights under that. Sort of a lite up Zombie, ghost of Christmas past look – but again it only needed to last a bit. Here she is.
Two more to go.
I had little bits of Velcro on some on the strands of lights so I thought I could drape it around the sheep and attach it back to itself. The next sheep isn’t exactly shepherd friendly so I draped the lights around my neck and used a leg crook to catch her.
Said crook “latches” on the leg so the sheep can’t pull out of it. Handy. Unless you let go of the crook. Then you have freaked out sheep bouncing off the walls with a crook on her leg. I got ahold of her but she didn’t stop. She beat me in the shins with the attached crook and jumped and bucked and tried to wipe me off on the walls. I “flew through the air with the greatest of ease” saying un-Christmas-like words. I’m pretty sure I made the full eight seconds before I landed on my butt in a feed tub still wearing the green lights. (NOT PICTURED)
I still didn’t let her go. After we caught our breath, I wrapped the lights around her neck. She got up. I didn’t.
For quite awhile. And when I did, it wasn’t pretty. I leaned on a hay bale for a long time but I now had three light-decorated sheep blinking away. Only Norman was left and he was starting to un-decorate Diane – so I forged ahead, But first I took a picture of the offender.
Here she is.
I tried to bend over to wrap Norman’s Velcro lights around him and found out bending was a baa-d idea. So I sort of dropped-threw the lights at him and they stuck!
Finished product. Four decorated sheep happily munched hay while I limped inside for my Santa cape, Mark, 800 mg of Ibuprofen and the camera. When I got back Diane the Christmas zombie was almost completely unwrapped and thought her lights were chasing her. Rollo had also arrived and helped rescue her. I thought he might be the voice of reason when I suggested we (ok he) take the lights off all of them and we forget the whole photo deal. He only offered to take the pictures.
It didn’t go well. I can’t imagine why. I don’t know if the sheep were more scared of me in a red cape, their own lights bouncing on their backs or a border collie wearing a light-up collar chasing them. In the dark. We got minimal blurry footage that will NOT BE PICTURED here. Myrtle finally took off running. Into the fence. This can clearly be heard on the video right before more un-Christmas like language and then silence while we waited to see if she would get up. She did. Her lights remained on the fence.
This is the last picture – traumatized sheep inside- me in my cape, hyped up green-collared Mark and good old Norman the red-fleeced “reindeer” saying good night and Merry Christmas. Remember don’t try this at home.